102 things other people seem to enjoy, and we just don't fuckin understand...
1. Golf
2. Cycling
3. Dancing
4. Emo Concerts
5. Rubber Bracelets
6. Car Magnets
7. Football Games
8. Scrapbooking
9. Caviar
10. Hookah Bars
(We both really like hookah but don’t understand paying money to go do it.)
"I would just assume smoke pot"
11. Crocs12. Beanie Babies
13. Precious Moments
14. White Chocolate
15. NASCAR
16. The Olympics
“They’re just showing off to all the fatties”
17. Ray Ramano18. Tom Cruise
19. Kevin Bacon
(Unless he’s guest starring on Will and Grace)
20. Jay Leno21. Ugly guy/Pretty girl sitcoms
22. Name Brand Tampons
23. Ryan’s
(or any other steakhouse)
24. Shopping Malls
25. Diet Fads
26. Popular Christian Fads
(Coffee Houses, Music, Left Behind Books)
27. Grease Movies28. John Travolta
29. Reality Find a Mate Shows
30. Lawn Ornaments
31. Parties where you have to buy shit
(tupperware, baskets, avon)
32. Waterparks33. Superbowl, March Madness
34. Key Chains
35. Rubick’s Cubes
36. Dressing twins in matching clothes
37. Clean versions of cuss words
38. OPRAH
39. Horses
40. Post 9/11 Patriotism
41. Tattoos out of Books
42. Butterfly People
43. DARE
44. Abstinence Only Programs
45. KKK
46. Ugly People
47. Anti Tobacco Ads
(we get the point, but come on)
48. The Hallmark Channel49. Hallmark minus Fresh Ink cards
50. Exercise Equipment
51. Fake Nails/Getting Nails Done
52. Bows on babies' heads
53. Ear Pieces for Cell Phones
54. Louie Vuitton Bags
55. Vera Bradley Bags
56. Longaberger Baskets
…especially as purses
57. Pre-made Picnic Baskets58. Clapping
59. Anything on ice…shows
60. Bratz Dolls
61. Small Dogs
62. Dressing Pets
63. Children on leashes
64. The death penalty
65. Creatures of the sea
66. Mormons
67. Creepy celebrity families
68. I hate Paul Newman now because he didn’t e-mail me back about my salad dressing
... this may be a personal grudge Maggie chooses to hold onto
69. Cowboy hats70. Jell-o Molds
71. The Beach
72. Public pools
73. Winter Sports
(except for watching hockey)
74. Patrick Dempsey75. Michael Rapaport
76. Any Regis show
77. MTV
78. Belly Button Rings
79. Non Prescription Glasses
80. Twitter
81. American Pie movies
82. Larry the Cable Guy
83. Jeff Foxworthy
84. The Scary Movies
85. Hugh Hefner/The Girls Nextdoor
86. Playboy
(we are not opposed to porn…but these are just trashy people)
87. Playgirl88. Hooters
89. Grey’s Anatomy
90. Desperate Housewives
91. Danielle Steele
92. Wine Coolers
93. Anime
94. Trekkies
95. Nautica decorating theme
96. Fancy Sitting rooms
97. Scientology
98. Food sex play
99. U.S. Healthcare
100. Abercrombie, American Eagle, Hollister Clothes
101. Mini Series
“you make it a tv show or you make it a movie!”
102. The idea of sin-maggie
4 comments:
Hi it's Kevin Jay. This list is magic. I'd say I agree dead on, 100% with 95 of these...a few I'm just neutral on. But there are 3 that stood out to me as things I love. White Chocolate: It's delicious. The Beach: I'm from So Cal, can you blame me? And lastly, Dressing Twins in Matching Clothes: I fully intend on having twins and dressing them in matching clothes until they're 18. They will love me forever!
1. Golf (You can wear a kilt and no undergarments and they won’t do shit cause you are old School)
2. Cycling (Apparently you are allowed to use steroids and they encourage you to have cancer and comeback with it gone and start winning again)
3. Dancing (With myself ohhh ohhh ohhhhhh)
4. Emo Concerts (Because Daddy didn’t love you)
5. Rubber Bracelets (See #2, or apparently snap the right one and get a sexual favor)
6. Car Magnets (I think you meant pussy magnet)
7. Football Games (This one can be taken many ways either way, because it’s hot sweaty balls to the wall never ending action, because you need the next madden game because this one is way better, and fuck you European Soccer can eat your American soccer bitchin ass.)
8. Scrapbooking (cause it’s like hey my useless shit that is in a way cool shoe box that you can’t find anymore is now on pages)
9. Caviar (How else are fish suppose to procreate, I saw that Futurama episode of the lost city of Atlanta)
10. Hookah Bars (Tip your waiter then you get pot mixed in, geez)
(We both really like hookah but don’t understand paying money to go do it.)
"I would just assume smoke pot"
11. Crocs (For some reason nurses are allowed to wear these, and we all know nurses live alternate lives for 3.95 a minute and an internet connection)
12. Beanie Babies (For some reason you are respected if you say you have the princess Diana one)
13. Precious Moments (If it wasn’t breakable then it wouldn’t be precious)
14. White Chocolate (Not really chocolate at all since it doesn’t come from cocoa plants, but it is very useful in film, whenever someone eats soap in the movie world, tade it’s actually white chocolate)
15. NASCAR (Because Number 3 will someday return)
16. The Olympics
“They’re just showing off to all the fatties” ( Regular, because you get to watch the future steroid arrest candidates, and Special because you get to watch the future steroid arrest candidates)
17. Ray Ramano (Judd Apatow did nothing but watch him when he wasn’t working for awhile, I think Ray Ramano is an inspiration, meaning you realize you do love him and then you go crazy and realize you have to do something else)
18. Tom Cruise (Thank you pause button on Risky Business, mmmm there is a man under those tighty whities, meow)
19. Kevin Bacon (Because he isn’t a Kosher actor)
(Unless he’s guest starring on Will and Grace)
20. Jay Leno (If you are lucky he will make a weed joke about his band leader, and for some reason frat boys love him and we all love frat boys, meoooooooow)
21. Ugly guy/Pretty girl sitcoms (They give me hope and give girls none, and then I swoop in to comfort them)
22. Name Brand Tampons (haha Thraxypad)
23. Ryan’s
(or any other steakhouse)
(The Rat Pack like steakhouses and I will be damned if you mock ol’ blue eyes)
24. Shopping Malls (It’s like the best reality tv, it’s all a bunch of teens thrown together and the craziness ensues, people exchange dirty glances, lots of gossip, jealousy and goth kids just sitting around, they won’t conform yet they are at the mall)
25. Diet Fads (For 3 easy payments of 39.95 the dramatization says they will work)
26. Popular Christian Fads (Easiest money you can earn is through the people married to Jesus, no one gets in to to heaven without a holy glowstick, on sale now 1.99)
(Coffee Houses, Music, Left Behind Books)
27. Grease Movies (20 – 30 year olds can pass as high schoolers, but remember consent in Indiana is 16, only if you are under 18, so you are still going to jail ass)
28. John Travolta (Royale with Cheese)
29. Reality Find a Mate Shows (Will soon evolve in a live action where’s waldo)
30. Lawn Ornaments (Without these the NMLGLF wouldn’t exist) (North Manchester Lawn Gnome Liberation Front)
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